An 85 year old man was requested by his doctor to produce a semen sample for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 85 year old man returned to the doctor's office and gave him back the jar, but it was empty.
The doctor asked, what happened.
The man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, and none of us could get that bloody jar open."
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