When I take a long time I'm slow.
When my boss takes a long time he's finished for the day.

When I don't do something I'm lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it he's busy.

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I do something without being told, I'm overstepping my authority.
When my boss does the same, that's initiative.

When I take a stand, I'm being bull-headed.
When my boss does it, he's being firm.

When I overlooked a rule of etiquette, I'm being rude.
When my boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When I'm out of the office, I'm wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When I'm on a day off sick, I'm always off sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview.
When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

When I please my boss I'm brown nosing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he's co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, my boss never forgets.